THE PAIN WE DON’T TALK ABOUT

 

Oh, this one is too personal. It’s been a week of too many emotions. I must tell you there is a pain that no one talks about. We master how to bear the sting as we smile the widest to the person or people right in front of us. There’s indeed a pain that no one talks about, and it is no respecter of the successful, almost successful, or about to be successful. It lurks and stays cuddling the best of us.

We wake up in the morning; it would seem like it’s supposed to be a good day, but as our eyes witness the first daylight, they’re some reminders of that little or big worry that the sleep from last night didn’t cure. You still find a way to drag your feet and keep moving because that’s the expectation of adults; to keep moving. When you brush shoulders or hear the good mornings from your coworkers, classmates, or partner, you smile so innocently; after all, it’s the perfect disguise for all the ways our hearts might be breaking.

“So what could be the problem? Aren’t we grateful for life? Aren’t we happy that we have eyes that can catch hope for something amusing today? Are we ingrates with a heart that never fills, just needing, wanting, hoping, and drowning when our expectations are not met. What’s the pain that we don’t talk about?”

I’ll tell you mine; I’ll say it with the right amount of vulnerability I can muster right now. It’s the expectation that I’ve somehow placed on myself, the almost empty feeling that sneaks up when I’ve jumped the last rope. It’s a pain that, in some cases, others have caused by words they said or didn’t say, by their actions, or the terrible ways they just misunderstood me or my intentions. It’s the memory of the last love journey that didn’t have a happy ending, and oh well, it could as well be the many blocks my heart can’t cross. It could be anything; for me, sometimes, it’s everything, everything I won’t talk about. Everything my small heart would hold steady and carry on as I laugh and receive the next congratulations for my first book.

“The pain we don’t talk about would most likely mean something different for you. Maybe it’s the friend you lost cause you’re good and they’re wrong or the job and business that isn’t going as you’ve planned.”

Perhaps it’s the memories from an ex that time isn’t killing faster or the kids you worry about, and it could be the guilt over anything or even health-related. Maybe it’s the girl you like that got away or the partner that has lost their last straw of compassion. Perhaps it’s the boy or girl whose name starts with an A; they seem to be guilty of most *laugh with me here* Either way, there’s a pain we sometimes live with, locked tightly in our minds and hearts; a cross we only bear with the hope that it’ll get better someday.

Today, I don’t have a remedy, but whatever you do, please be kind, please be kind to yourself, please be kind to the next person. Please carry on an extra strength to understand that we’re all dealing with something that the best motivational speech might not cure. So if you ask the person next to you how they’re doing and their response is, “I’m fine,” take that as a good answer but also know that beneath their eyes, it could have been a long teary episode hours before, so talk to them with that empathy, be gentle in your words and kind in your actions. We’ll go 22 pages if I decide to break down all the ways pain snatches the joy on the inside, but I’m making reading easy today.

All of us are dealing with something; we all have a pain that we’re not sharing. As strong as we look on the outside, perhaps it’s several pieces patched up inside.

Just be kind. Please treat others just how you want others to treat you; this rule is the answer to a lot, and this is my message today. Be kind. Please, be kind.