THE TRUTH ABOUT FORGIVENESS

 

How many times have you heard the word, Forgive? Maybe you’ve been reciting it too often to another, or perhaps it’s you hearing it back from others. Regardless of which way it’s coming, we’ve all caught the sound. Forgive me, forgive her, forgive him, forgive them. Just forgive.

Recently I understood something we don’t speak much. Something that’s not explained about forgiveness: it’s the demand or the silent rule that people throw on forgiveness which is an added load of expectation on the one who’s doing the forgiving. It’s the careless conclusion that your forgiveness is only genuine when you add acceptance to the guilty party – This is a lie I have discovered.

No one should determine absolute forgiveness by measuring how close you’ll take back those who have offended you. My forgiveness is forgiveness; I accept that you have wronged me, I have come up with a level of understanding of your doings, and I have said I don’t hate you or bear no evil for these mistakes. That’s forgiveness.

In this present day, if you forgive a friend and don’t take them back as a friend, then you didn’t completely forgive. If you forgive your partner but don’t take them back as a partner, then you didn’t genuinely forgive. I, for one, have been accused lately of not genuinely forgiving because I wouldn’t place back the positions they once held in my life.

“Forgiveness shouldn’t be counted as a lie because it doesn’t favor the one who did wrong. In short words, I should be able to say, I forgive you, old friend, but we wouldn’t be new friends. I forgive you, lover, but we won’t continue love basking.”

Forgiveness is a gift to yourself; you forgive others because it’s easier on the mind, and if you practice faith, you also know it’s the right thing to do. So forgive the first to the last person who hurt you. Forgive them but in no way think you need to pressure yourself to take people back after forgiving them. Forgiveness should never count as a favor to the other person. Forgiveness is for you. Do it in ways that bring peace to you.

Your turn, what’s your truth about forgiveness?